I wish I could hold my breath for hours,
so I could let the water enfold me
and remain beneath the waves
with salt on my tongue
and sand between my fingers,
and the silence of the sea
like a melody to my ears
besides the gentle rocking
of dark waves.
will You speak to me
in the silence of the outside?
I bury myself beneath the folds of the noise
like I bury myself beneath the waves of the ocean,
pretending my eyes are glued shut
and I am simply senseless.
I want You to tell me why I should open them,
why I shouldn’t be drowning myself under darkness
because truthfully it drives me mad, this obscurity.
my soul thirsts for light and I want You to bring it to me,
tricking myself with the notion
that maybe You can’t find me, when really
I just don’t see You.
maybe You’re calling my name
but my hands are still over my ears.
I guess I forgot to take them off;
or am I just rebellious of your grace?
I’m so undeserving, trying to play a game with You,
pretending that I hide, You seek, that You can’t find me
but then maybe I’m just not willing to look above the waves.
I think I’m escaping the noise
I’m just making more of it.
that’s why You amaze me
when You somehow reach me
and open my eyes
even at my darkest.
You teach me how to look
above the waves.